I should move to a tribal community and live as the indigenous people...

that way I wouldn't own so many clothes that I would have to wash them.

Yes, its late at night and I am doing laundry. What a pleasure!

I have so many thoughts that I want to write down, but none of them are flowing. Writer's block.

"O Holy Night" was sung this morning at church. I have probably sung this song so many times, and listened to Josh Groban sing it a thousand more. I have a recognized the theology in it, but never until this morning have I thought about the following line: "He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger." I am thankful that Christ knows my weaknesses, because there are many. He knows my follies. He knows my inmost being. He knows that I get up tight about things. He knows I worry. He know I think about the most insane outcomes to a situation. He knows me entirely, intimately. He knows more about me than I would ever care to know about myself. I wish more people knew this about God.

Secondly, "Holy, holy, holy," was playing tonight at work. It makes me think of the words of Isaiah the prophet. I wish people at work knew Jesus.

I wish people didn't have to grow up, change. It makes me sad, but ecstatic all in the same breath.

Oh, and I am thankful for a best friend, a friends who as the capability to talk in her sleep to make you think she's listening, while you are talk about the most absurd subjects.

That's all I have. I need to go to bed.

"It's something unpredictable...

but in the end it's right, I hope you've had the time of your life."

Here I am sitting on my bed, typing away. My posters are packed; the walls look too white. I want to cry. I am about to close a chapter in my life that I want to reread, but can't. I just want to pause before I have to jump off of this precipice. Now that I think about it, I don't want to grow up. Seriously, I've had the time of my life.


I hate transitions. Have I mentioned that before?

Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride."

This past week has been crazy; its had its ups and downs, but overall its been good. I am finished with most of my work. I have one class that I have to tie up some lose ends for, but other than that I am home free. Wow. The semester went by fast. Honestly, I cannot believe I will be graduating in May. I always talk about how I can't wait to graduate, but really it will be bitter sweet. I have less than a week to live in the dorms, while I am excited to be moving out, I'll probably cry.

.........................................................

God has been so good to me these past 3 1/2 years at Calvary. I have been blessed beyond words. Perhaps, the greatest thing I am thankful for is my team. I know that sounds cheesy and cliche, but it's true. They inspire and encourage me. They have such a hard work ethic. Iron sharpens iron, you know. Tonight we have a game. I am excited. I'm not just excited to play or to win, but I am excited that I get to play with seven other girls. We have had a good, intense week of practices, so tonight should be good.

Icing.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good." - Psalm 34:8

I think I have become casually addicted to this blogging thing.

Here I am at my computer once again. One would think that I get enough of this writing paper after paper. But apparently, I don't. Sitting, waiting, wanting people to hurry up. We live in such a fast paced culture. It's hard to wait sometimes. The Messiah awaits us. In more ways than one, really.

Chapel was really good today. I love the Old Testament prophets. I love the picture of Israel. So much of the time I look at their unfaithfulness and think, wow, can't they see what God has done for them. In the same breath, I ask God why he isn't doing what I want him to do, as if I am outside of time. I am just like Israel. Yet, my desire is to be more like Isaiah, who trusted God through the bad days. My bad days really aren't that bad. God continually is faithful to me and I fail to recognize this. I am blessed beyond measure.

"Sing to the Lord, for He has done excellent things." -Isaiah 11:5


Truly He has done excellent things for me despite my inadequacy.


Off to see the Messiah (not the literal one).

All English majors should have a blog, right?

So this has been the first opportunity I have had in an expansive amount of time to go to bed before 10pm. Crazy, I know. Yet, I beginning my own blog because I can't go to sleep. I always thought these things were for those highly, sophisticated yuppys who update in someone trendy coffee shop somewhere living the absolute perfect life. No.

I journal, quite often, in fact. I guess my thought in starting this is to post some of my ponderings. I don't know we'll see where this goes. There is this sense of vulnerability involved, I guess.

I like looking back at my thoughts from years past.
Two years ago from this date (Dec. 6th 2007) I wrote the following:

Here I am on my way to Springfield. The ride has been peaceful....
'Gather my insufficiencies and place them in your hands, place them in you hands.'
I want all of my insufficiencies to be put away--I have so many.


Funny how, even two years later, things don't change.
I am thankful Christ said that his grace is sufficient; his power is perfected in weakness.