#doitfortheprocess

"Do it for the process" a friend hashtags.

Over the past 27 months of freelancing I've learned a lot about myself. And art.
And that it's work. It's good work, but it's work.
All the glamor and beauty I once believed it to be, it's all a facade.

Ten verses from finishing this project I started at the beginning of 2015, I've come to realize that you have to put out bad design and concepts that aren't "you" or you'll never get anything done.

It's held me back and pushed me forward all at once.

Over this past year, looking for my niche and searching for my style, I've determined I like a lot of things. Minimalism and funk, hand drawn and flowery.
There's no reason why we have to put ourselves in boxes. We wouldn't be artists otherwise.

Picasso - he had the blue period and rose period. And cubism.

I've learned to not be afraid.
To not be afraid of putting bad art out there.

Writing or design or painting, I want to fearlessly move forward, to not be inhibited by what I know to be better or what I could be. Or what the girl next door is doing.

And the time. The ticking of the clock, spent staring at a screen, seemingly twiddling my thumbs. Wasting hours, as it feels. It's doing something. I need not be anxious.

So, dear artist-writer-photographer-inventor-creative friend - don't be afraid.
It's a part of the process.

The grace and faith I want to have.

There are parts of Hannah's story that perplex and astound me as I read 1 Samuel 1 and 2.
And while there are many things I don't understand here are eight observations that encourage and challenge my soul.

1. Culturally, Hannah was living outside the social norm of bearing and caring for children. It's safe to say, the world around her probably saw her as having a lack of worth because of her lack of kids. (1 Samuel 1:2)

2. When provoked, she didn't retaliate. (1 Samuel 1:6-7)

3. Hannah continued to worship even in her wanting and waiting. (1 Samuel 1:7, 19)

4. From her song in 1 Samuel 2, we know that Hannah trusted God's supreme authority and ruling of the world and believed that he measured one's motives. "For the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed." (1 Samuel 2:3b)

5. Hannah spoke to God passionately and fervently, pleading and weeping and pouring out her heart's desire before the Lord, yet not hiding her grief or fear or anger from him. (1 Samuel 1:13-16)

6. Though her bargaining confuses me some, we know from this passage that she was willing to let go of the very thing she deeply desired, and followed through in her commitment, demonstrating obedience. (1 Samuel 1:11, 27-28)

7. God rewarded Hannah for her faithfulness and obedience beyond what she asked for. (1 Samuel 2:20-21; Ephesians 3:20-21)

8. Though Hannah's not directly mentioned in Hebrews 11, from her story we know she had great faith believing "God exists and rewards those who seek him." (Hebrews 11:6)


Ultimately God chooses and determines destinies, but like Hannah, I want to be a woman of great grace and faith even in the midst of unfavorable circumstances.