Monday, November 24, 2014


Two years ago you're sitting in a friend's living room eating Oreo balls, and you're praying for husbands because you're getting old and houses full of cats are imminent.

You're all asking, begging, that it (marriage) would happen for all of you at the same time as so not one of you would be left behind.

You pray this clearly. Specifically. Fervently.
It's documented in your journals.

One year later.
You're the odd woman out.

What do you do?

Either buy into these lies...
I am not holy enough.
God has forgotten me.
God is not good. And is not for my good.

Or allow these truths to sink deep into your soul...
I am chosen. Holy. Beloved. (Colossians 3:12)
"Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?"
Absolutely not. (Psalm 77:8-9)
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus...and He is working all things together for good. (Romans 8)

And while I'm not saying I'm 100% content all of the time in where God has me.
Or that there weren't ugly moments of deep despair, listening to Though You Slay Me on repeat.
Or that I don't busy myself so I don't have to think about it.

I would not trade the enormous fountain of grace poured out on me for anything.
Grace to choose, to cling, to lean into God's eternal promises rather than my temporary circumstances.
Grace through the Holy Spirit to put on love and be genuinely excited for my very, dear friends.

That was His doing, not mine.
On my own I cannot love without envy or pride or self-centeredness.
To see him working in my heart so obviously, so tangibly words cannot describe.

I know I have said it before. And believed it...sometimes.
But I know. I know, because that Bible says it and I've experienced it: He is all I really have.

And no, He's not forgotten me.

I'm also not saying this is the hardest thing that's ever happened to me - or ever will happen to me. Perhaps it seems trivial compared to the giants you're facing.
Still, I'm not negating the fact that this year has been full of loss for me, in a sense, as I've grieved losing the flexibility of friends to their husbands, even in the midst of pure joy for them. And maybe much more than that, grieving that I've been left behind.

God is good to show Himself much more clearly in the midst of strife than when our life our lives look Instagram-filter perfect. And as I look back on this season, I have never seen His hand more perfectly. For that. I am thankful.

Friend, know that even when trials or temptations haunt you and you feel as though you've been forgotten and that all good things are being withheld from you, God is good. He is faithful. And we know this because his Word promises it. And we know, we believe with all our hearts, that his Word is true.

Be still and see him work.
And be thankful.



Also, the winners to last week's give-a-way were Anna and Erika. I promise this was all completely random. Facebook message me for details on how to redeem.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey, this is Jaclyn~

This post is gold. I know per your About Me you've not had a plan for your blog, but I love how your faithfulness to chronicle and wrestle through life has taken the shape of something so beautiful. Keep going =)