Monday, January 6, 2014

Day one: "clicking in my soul."

Today - it seems - should be the first day of the rest of my life.
Except that I know that in my 27 years of living there have been many first days and many last days.
Certainly this isn't the end to those.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

And so early this morning as I was finishing up Matt Chandler's book, The Explicit Gospel, he commentates on Psalm 139 by writing, "There is an intrinsic clicking in our soul that draws us toward the things that we're drawn to. I think Psalm 139 is revealing that that clicking is God-ordained, that that is God's stuff, that God is doing this in us for his purposes."

I feel that "clicking" in my soul - that this - this freelance biz - is right.
And while I understand that my hearts fails me - my flesh and my heart fails me - I can believe and trust  the Lord that He gave me gifts and He's allowed me to walk through circumstances that have naturally led me to this place.

So this frees me - in a sense - to do things where I most naturally bent. And to trust Him even more.

When I was nine - and the snow was falling - and my parents made me get dressed and start schoolwork before 9 o'clock even though the neighborhood kids had the day off, I was annoyed. Today I am grateful they taught me how to be disciplined, though it was like pulling teaching back then.

I am grateful for the many attempts and business failures before 7th grade. The desire to create and to go door to door selling terribly tacky greeting cards.

And for my art history teacher my freshman year that told me I had an eye for color - that encourages my heart - even now - because sometimes we just can't see the things we're good, we're gifted at.

And I am most blessed today that I have a propensity not to worry about things that maybe I should be more concerned about (you know, making money and paying small business taxes and choosing the right insurance plan). But for right now. I'm glad that that's one way I have been "fearfully and wonderfully made."

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

So here's to life change and transitions. Autumn in January.
And getting to drink french pressed coffee while I work.


Betsy said...

Enjoy this "first" day, my friend! :-)

Erika said...

Think I most definitely need an update