That has been the theme of the past few weeks in my life.
I cannot say the road from school to home to camp to home to Eureka has been easy. In some ways I wonder why I chose this for myself, but then I think there is nothing in the world that God does not control including my sometimes seemingly insignificant life.
For those of you who don't know, I have been substitute teaching in Eureka, both in the public schools and at PCS. It has been a huge challenge to not where I'm going from day to day. I've worked with kids from 1st grade to special ed., and frequently I sub for math. This job is in complete opposition with my plan-it-ahead-of-time personality. While I have been stretched, God has blessed this opportunity in so many ways. For four years I have questioned over and over whether or not I was heading in the right direction and now I am confident that I want to have my own classroom, even though it won't be forever.
The transition from college is difficult; whoever told me it was easy was wrong. There is much more down time that cannot be filled with homework. Now I am so much more aware of the time I'm wasting. There are so many dreams and desires I could be fulfilling while I have the time: art, writing, training for a marathon, getting a masters. I want to begin taking a step in these directions until God tells me otherwise.
He has certainly fought for me. Sometimes it's hard to give up and let Him do the fighting. This season in life is no where near over, and it is still rough at times. But already I have learned to trust God significantly more than ever. This is not where I thought I would be, but He has fought and provided for all my needs. All I can do is give the glory back to Him, by serving in whatever capacity He sends my direction.
I have been blessed beyond measure and He has done more in my life than I could ever ask or think.
2 comments:
okay i totally feel the same thing. right now im struggling with finding my purpose. i went to school to pursue my dream of counseling and now im not doing it and i feel like im coasting and wasting precious time that i could be in ministry somewhere. i have dreams such as yours as well that aren't getting done and i am so unmotivated. i finally have started looking into options to move onto for my life but still, it's such a hard life after college!!!!
Oh Kayla, I know what you're going through. I was in the same boat as you after graduating from college. You go from living with your best friends and, like you said, the predictable. And then you are supposed to "begin life" once you graduate. It's scary! I am so proud of you though for taking a step of faith and trying something new. Do as much as you can now while you can. You're such a great girl and have so much going for you. Miss you!
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