My desire is too weak most days.
For me to know and to taste that longing is to think on the very banality of my life's questions that eat away at me and magnify it by an infinite number.
In The Dawning of Indestructible Joy, John Piper pleads that we pray for and pursue an understanding of Christ's fullness. That we would feel it. And experience it. And as I've asked to feel the fullness, He's mercifully brought me to an intensified place where I don't have answers.
Which drives me to the fact that He alone is the answer.
Jesus is it.
In the longing, in the waiting.
That's how I know His fullness.
Knowing that He is it, our only comfort both in life and death* and our only hope, is to celebrate advent.
Blanks may be left open at the end of my life, but it will not matter because I will "be like him, because [I] shall see him as he is." (I John 3:2) And much like Moses, I imagine, I will see God, my friend, face to face. (Deuteronomy 34:10)
So what are you wanting?
A steady income.
White kitchen walls.
A life full of kids.
Or a retirement fund big enough to send you to the Bahamas.
Don't lose the longing or waste the waiting, but embrace advent by looking at the lack of those things and allow the Holy Spirit to fill the void with the fullness of Christ - and the hope of His second coming - this Christmas.
* Question 1, Heidelberg Catechism
"I know now Lord, why you utter no answer. You yourself are the answer."
- CS Lewis, Till We Have Faces